Happy New Year

I've been thinking about this post for a few days now.  I thought about posting about the highlights of the past year, listing my resolutions; you know--a new year, fresh start and all of that.  But I really just want to recap the past couple of weeks, ummmkay?  So here are a few tidbits.

1. In my dark cloud of pregnancy woes (or rather, lack of pregnancy woes), I failed to announce the arrival of a new little bambino in the family.  Yes, Brother # 2, Neil and my sister-in-love Gina have a new little bundle of awesomeness.  His name is Leo and he is perfect.  Throughout the pregnancy, they thought they were going to name him Kyle, but once they saw him, the did not think he looked like a Kyle.  Where the name Leo came from is anyone's guess, but I like it.  On a side note--I am pretty sure that if or when I become pregnant and Country and I pick out names, I will probably want to keep them to myself.  It seems everyone has an opinion and expecting women do not want to hear that you knew a kid in 4th grade with that name that beat you up on the playground.  Moving on, I am super happy for them.

2.)  I just finished reading this book: 168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think

In a nutshell, we all have 168 hours per week and it poses the question:  Are we using those 168 hours the best ways we can?  Obviously we need to work, eat, sleep, perhaps take care of children.  But after that, this book makes us think about how we really want to fill those remaining hours.  Do we really want to be scrubbing the toilet every Saturday, or is there a better way?  In this new year I intend to apply what I learned from this book; that I want to spend more time exercising, reading, meeting up with friends and family, and crafting.  Some ways that I can put this into motion is by bringing my reading to work.  I get an hour for lunch and usually am done eating after about 15-20 minutes.  Usually I wander around the Internet aimlessly for the remaining time but if I bring my books and magazines with me, I can squeeze in some extra reading.  I also recently bought an elliptical machine.  I know that I am not a morning exercise person, mainly because my long hair is a pain to dry so I usually like to shower at night.  I am now making a date with myself to exercise when I get home from work at least 3 times a week. 

3.)  Weeds is our new obsession.  Country and I recently downgraded our cable and signed up for Netflix.  At the suggestion of my co-worker, I started watching Weeds from Season 1.  I think this has to be one of the best shows I have ever seen.  Country agrees.  We have been having Weeds marathons, watching hours at a time.  Good think the elliptical is parked in front of the TV!  Oh, and for New Years?  You betcha, we watched while bringing in the new year.

4.)  And finally . . . .we're going to Ireland!  This has been a dream of mine since before I can remember (and especially since I watched the movie P.S. I Love You).  Well, a couple of weeks ago a package deal came up on my favorite website, Travelzoo.  It was such a good deal.  Across town, my dad had mentioned to my mom how much he wanted to go to Ireland.  After my mom fell off her chair and got back up, she told him that there was a deal posted that very day.  So, Country and I are going with my mom and dad!  We leave at the end of March, so it will still be cool there, but hey, we're not going there to hang out at the beach. 

So now, off to read a book about Ireland while I work out on the elliptical.  Happy New Year everyone.

Eat, Pray, Love and a Personal Confession

So, you know that little book called "Eat, Pray, Love?"  You might not have heard of it.  I mean, it isn't like it was on the best selling list or made into a blockbuster movie or anything. 

Ha.

During the few years since Elizabeth Gilbert wrote this book, I have read a lot of reviews of her work.  Regardless if you liked the book or not, I don't think anyone can deny that this woman has a special talent. 

Back when I was going through a divorce, my mom gave me a copy and said, "Read this.  Please."  I put it in the pile of books on my nightstand.  Okay, okay, I put it in the pile of self-help books on my nightstand.  I mean, I was going through a divorce.  I needed all the help I could get!  And. . . .so it sat.  For a long time. 

Then one weekend, I picked it up to see what it was all about and didn't put it down until I finished reading it all, from cover to cover.  I laughed and cried.  Hysterically.

I couldn't believe that this woman was so in my head.  How did she know every thought and feeling I had about love, loss, divorce, happiness, sadness?  How did she know all of that about me?  Because really, I felt like she wrote this book just for me.  Just to let me know that everything was going to be just fine.

I have since pushed this book upon two friends who have struggled with their relationships this past year.  And you know what?  I'm not alone in feeling like this little gem of a book came along at the perfect time.  It just may have saved my life.  Okay, okay, maybe I'm going too far, but Elizabeth Gilbert's book blew my so-called "self-help" books out of the water.  It was like my own personal bible.

Fast forward about 3 1/2 years later and for the most part, life is so very good.  Except . . . . .except there has been a dark cloud following me around lately that I can't seem to shake.  Rationally, I know that I am very blessed.  I have a wonderful family and lots of friends. 

So here's where the confession part comes in.  Country and I have been trying to start a family for almost a year now.  And I am still not pregnant.

Wow.

When I started this blog, I thought it would be a great creative outlet for me.  I could post pictures of different rooms in my house, of the dogs, of friends and family.  I could share things that inspire me.  I could write about my thoughts and feelings.  Somewhere along the way I got lazy about posting and then sometimes I want to share so much more about my life but then go back and forth about how much information is "too much" and wondering about who is really reading this blog anyway.

With that being said, I thought about the blogs that I love to read and realized that even though I don't personally know these people who share their lives via the Internet, I share in their joy and unfortunately, sometimes share in their struggles.

I guess this post today is to finally lay it all out there in the open.  We're trying for a baby.  We're having a hard time and are at the point where we will start exploring what our options are.  Please send us some fertility vibes and of course, prayers.

Which leads me back to Eat, Pray, Love.  I was feeling pretty low tonight and dug out my battered and torn copy of EPL (personal bible, remember?).  Flipping through, I came across this paragraph and it was perfect, so I thought I'd share:

"There is so much about my fate that I cannot control, but other things do fall under the jurisdiction. I can decide how I spend my time, whom I interact with, whom I share my body and life and money and energy with. I can select what I can read and eat and study. I can choose how I'm going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life-whether I will see them as curses or opportunities. I can choose my words and the tone of voice in which I speak to others. And most of all, I can choose my thoughts."

— Elizabeth Gilbert

How does she do this?!  How does she know that I was just thinking that I need to choose my thoughts differently about this challenging time and send out good vibes instead?

"I'm choosing happiness over suffering, I know I am. I'm making space for the unknown future to fill up my life with yet-to-come surprises."
— Elizabeth Gilbert

Starting tonight, I have to let go of that suffering feeling and trust that what will be, will be. 

My Do Not Read List

Short post because I have a lot to do tonight, but just wanted to comment on two books that have officially made my "Do Not Read List." 

First up is The Superior Wife Syndrome.  Do me a favor, ladies.  Google this book and then read the excerpt.  I was excited to read this book.  I thought it would do me some good--some straight up healing.  You know, divorces and all can make you question the entire population of MEN, especially when your ex-husband bluntly says in counseling, "Yeah, I just want to sit on my ass and drink beer and watch TV."  Anyway, I can't stress enought just how excited I was to read this book.  Until I read the first chapter.  And then I was just pissed off and started picking fights with Country.  Back to the library it went.

Second is Fast Food Nation.  Sometimes I think ignorance really is bliss.  The very little that I read of this book disturbed me so much that I actually thought about giving up meat.  And then I was bitch slapped and snapped out of it. 

Ahhhh, Mother Nature is flirting with us here in Illinois.  It's been in the low 60's the past couple of days.  You know how that goes.  We'll probably have a foot of snow by Saturday.

Hope your week is going well and you've felt the sunshine on your face.