Sunday, July 24, 2011

Heartbroken

Looking back, when I started this blog, I never dreamed that somewhere down the road I'd be writing about the subject of infertility.  Trying for a baby was somewhere in the back of my mind; not yet a reality.  And yet, througout this past year and a half, I've felt comforted by speaking from my heart onto this blog and every once in awhile, seeing your kind words of encouragment.

After a year of struggling to get pregnant, and then almost six months of seeing a fertility specialist, still with no concrete answers of "Why?", countless appointments, tests, blood work, injections, and finally, artificial insemination, I was pregnant.  Finally.

And I am so heartbroken to say, that one month after I heard those sweet words of "Congratulations!!" from my doctor and nurse, that I have miscarried.

Seeing it on the screen makes it a bit more real.  As I type this, tears are streaming down my cheeks and there is a fogginess in my head. 

Did this really happen?

It seems like a nightmare; one that I know is not going to go away easily or soon.

Please hold us a little closer in your hearts right now.

6 comments:

  1. I don't even know you...and yet tears are streaming down my cheeks too. For you. I am so so sorry. Is there a positive side to this at all? Have the doctors said that at least this means you CAN get pregnant? Never mind. I know that doesn't take a way the pain of THIS loss. I'm so so sorry.

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  2. Im praying for your heart to mend and that the desires of your heart come to fruition.Take some time for yourself.

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  3. Thank you so much Carol-anne and Comeca. Yes, it is a positive that I CAN get pregnant, so that's the silver lining of this whole ordeal. We're going to take a few months off then try again.

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  4. I'm so sorry for your loss - I had a miscarriage in Jan, there is nothing anyone can say to make it better, but it does get easier with time.

    Regarding the infertility, don't give up miracles do happen - I have a 15mth old son - my husband and I had been trying for 9yrs

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  5. Hey, just wanted to check in and see how you are? Thinking about you every day (yes, I know it's weird because we're strangers) and hoping you are coping.

    God Bless.

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  6. Hadn't checked in for awhile. I'm so sorry you are going through this. It sucks... and it's not fair. It's been just over a year since my miscarriage. Even though we were in a different position... It was a surprise pregnancy, it still hurts the same. I've been crafting a post about it for the past couple of months, and am just now ALMOST ready to get it out there. Even though I only know you through blogland, you are loved!

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